|Without further ado Sick Boy educates the unwilling
eye into Worthing's vom hotspots (mainly Tarring, but occasionally
we do travel further afield!)
The Downview - Sick
Boy's local, although not really my 'local' (it's the 3rd nearest
pub to my place) I have adopted it, and so have WFCSAFC as their
post match boozer. Interesting range of pennants on the bar, from
Taulke Finance to Bognor, to Worthing Dynamoes, to Ferrari.
Drink is cheap, most pints under £2, Harvey’s a steal
at £1.85, and a decent place to watch live football, with
a big screen. With internationals stay clear of the 'Ingerlund'
contingent that reside in there.
The Downview has stuff going on all the time, Live music, and even
karaoke (until I broke the machine!). One highlight of the Downview
is it's pub fight night. On a random night (best go in every night
to make sure you see it) there will be a good, old fashioned pub
fight. Usually one of the 16 year olds has had one too many (two)
Strongbows and taken their vengeance out on someone who has looked
at them. Usually lots of locals join in the entertainment, by holding
a shoulder of a participant and screaming 'It's naawt wuuurf it'
and then 'yaaawr a better person than he is'. When the fun has died
down the two chavs involved shake hands, compare fake ID's and share
a Breezer between them.
Regarding staff, friendly souls, staff seem to change week in week
out, so no consistency in the way of something to look at when the
football on TV's a bit dull. Sometimes ok, sometimes nothing. Take
your pick (but beware, Formoy, WFCSAFC's ex studmuffin resides there,
anyone half good looking he has earmarked… obviously)
As far as vomiting is concerned, rich pickings here indeed. The
two cubicles have no lock and very little toilet paper, but the
urinals are festooned with gutbutter, so yours won't make a difference....
unless it's a veggie curry after a few WFC approved Aftershocks
and you're on the pull... BAD SICK BOY!
Outside is fantastic for a handy technicolour yawn. With Ace Burger
nearby, stomach bile will be flowing freely. For example after a
chance meeting with a WFCSAFC glue footed legend (Tim Olney) your
very own writer proceeded to attempt to reproduce Sunday's 4-4-2
formation on the pavement outside Alldays, much to the repulsion
Moving up the road we have the George and Dragon.
A bit too old man for me so I barely go there. Places to be sick:
My house is just nearby, a carpark round the side, or in front of
the Parsonage, Tarrings' classiest resaurant. Go on, put the snobs
off their roast duck!
A little more up the road we have The Vine, which
I WOULD actually like if I could go in there! A decent pub selling
decent beer with a garden (perfect for vomiting in I imagine). sadly
this vomiter can't go in there for fear of bumping into his ex-girlfriend
who scares the hell out of him, therefore off the list!
Recent trips to The Vine include a friend and I running through
the pub to look for loos on our way home, then walking sheepishly
back as they were near the front (I think?) after relieving ourselves
in outside huts! Another seeing WFCSAFC's disgraced captain peer
through the Vine windows and pronounce 'URRRRRGH' on sight of said
Moving further up is yet another bar we've disgraced ourselves
in, Thomas A' Becket. It's a bit too posh and pricy
for my liking, the seats are cushioned, there are posh sofas and
the carpet is clean. Not good! It has quite decent staff at times,
better than the Vine, and probably edging the Downview by an eyelash.
The benches outside are perfect for utilising the Mandarin chippy,
or possibly giving the passing traffic a nice view of it a few minutes
Moving inside, last time we went I re-introduced my onion rings
and chips into the wild after a nice conversation with Salt, then
a 50 metre dash to the toilets themed with racist graffiti, then
not making it 'quite' that far and just letting go there and then.
Needless to say we left soon after and it'll be a LOOOONG while
before we go back.
Going West into the classier area of Durrington (bruv) we get to
The Golden Lion. DO NOT BE SICK HERE!
Decent enough beer, a wide selection of real beers as well as lager
tat, along with a big screen, but despite a nice veneer, there lies
a vile underbelly. The locals are less than friendly, and according
to an unsourced barmaid there are a LOT of old men that spend their
whole day there. There are also a LOT of chavs that 'enjoy' it's
facilities, some even try and recreate the Downview atmosphere with
the odd pub fight, however unles you are of ill mind I suggest you
don't join in, there'll be less locals breaking you up, and more
cheering the other bloke on (not speaking from past experience -
I'm a pacifist!)
The staff there are a bit ID heavy, and a bit attitudey, but Martin's
sister works there too, so there's some respite from the moany old
chavs that live behind there!
On our way to Lower Salvington (that’s what you'd like to
think!) we arribe at The Lamb, post match drinkery
of WFCSAFC. We usually fill up the smaller bar with the 'Millionaire'
quiz machine, all you can eat chips and Harvey’s. Everything
a self respecting vomiter like myself would want.
Bar Staff are a bit too male for my fancyings, so... err, no comment.
In terms of sick-holes, I haven't used the loos yet and the car
park is a bit... blatant. We're usually finished early and go on
elsewhere so no time for gutbutter at such an early stage in the
Anyway, you've heard the truth, now go forth and vomit!
May the carrots and peas be with you!
Love Nick x