Meet the Worthing FC players! Here's an alternative
look at our squad.
Programme Writers - use these at your peril! You'll probably
find the Official Site
more fruitful - try this link.
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Position (s) – Central Defence
Signed from – Brighton & Hove Albion
Nickname – Beechy
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Alan Hansen
Interesting fact – Once took home a Whyteleafe
players kitbag instead of his own. In fact that is totally uninteresting…
Least likely to say – Why is it never me
that’s taken off?
His song – “Andy, Andy, Andy B-e-e-c-h,
Andy. Andy, Andy B-e-e-c-h”
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Position (s) – Central Midfield
Signed from – Sainsburys United
Nickname – Browner
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Jan Molby
Interesting fact – Post match meal is preferably
packets of cheese and onion crisps and cans of coke (circa Corinthian
Casuals 2002/03). Current captain of Withdean 2000 (Turkish lira).
Cult hero of WFC.
Least likely to say – No thanks, I’m
cutting down
His song – “Knees up Pauly Brown, Knees
up Pauly Brown, Stuck his legs over his head, Knees up Pauly Brown”
(Knees up Mother Brown)
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Position (s) – Right back, Right wing,
Centre forward
Signed from – Eastbourne Town
Nickname – Ben
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Robert Pires
Interesting fact – Wound up Jimmy Quinn to
the extent that he burst into uncontrollable rage, lost the game
to us, lost Lewes the title, picked a fight with his own fans before
being made to quit. He hasn’t managed since. Ben is the official
WFC Icon.
Least likely to say – If that’s Jack
on the phone, tell him I’m going to be a bit late for Butlins
– I’m having so much fun exchanging friendly banter
with Jimmy down at the Pan.
His song – “Carrington, Carrington,
running down the wing, Carrington, Carrington, crosses like a king,
feared by the Rooks/Rocks, loved by the Reds, Carrington, Carrington,
Carrington” (Robin Hood) or “And it’s
Ben Carrington (der-der-der-der), good times never seemed so good”
(Sweet Caroline)
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Position (s) – Central Defence
Signed from – Withdean £2000
Nickname – Davis
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Rio Ferdinand
Interesting fact – Beat Mark Ormerod from
the half way line in a pre-season friendly for us in his first spell
at WFC. Has played professionally for Burnley and Hartlepool and
is therefore in early editions of Championship Manager.
Least likely to be heard – You’re quiet
today Glen?
His song – “When the Rebels score six
and it’s not Glen Davies, it’s Ben Carrington”
(Se amore)
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Position (s) – Left back, Central Defence
Signed from – Withdean £2000
Nickname – PC CD
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Wayne Bridge
Interesting fact – Is a policeman. So behave
yourselves.
Least likely to say – Getting time off work
is so easy – they are so understanding about me playing semi-pro
football.
His song – “You’ll never beat
Chris Dicker”
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Position (s) – Central Midfield, “in
the hole”
Signed from – Withdean £2000
Nickname – Dobs
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Danny Murphy
Interesting fact – Known as Bobby Damian
while frequenting the SL postal region of the country.
Least likely to say – I actually prefer being
called Bobby Damian
His song – “When the red, red Dobbyn
comes bob bob bobbing along”
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Position (s) – Right Back, Central Defence,
Right Midfield, Central Midfield
Signed from – The Burgess Hillbillies
Nickname – ?
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Gary Neville
Interesting fact – Is only available some
of the time so has either got a really good job or is just bone-idle.
My money is on the good job.
Least likely to say – I always play better
for Withdean than I do for Worthing
His song – Not yet.
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Position (s) – Left Wing, Left Back, Centre
Forward, Centre Midfield
Signed from – Levred
Nickname – Mr Ekoku (he is huge after
all)
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Jason Roberts
Interesting fact – His brother is Efan Ekoku,
the Nigerian International.
Least likely to say – I haven’t actually
played for that many London clubs.
His song – “N-ko E-ko-ku, In the middle,
on the wing, N-ko E-ko-ku, taking corners, de-fen-ding, On the left,
On the right, Runs up and down when in the team, N-ko E-ko-ku, Worthing’s
new record signing” (Agadoo) OR “Chim, Chiminee,
Chim Chiminee, Chim, Chim Cheroo, Who needs Lee Newman, When we’ve
E-ko-ku?” (Chim Chimminee from Mary Poppins)
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Position (s) – Centre Forward
Signed from – Withdean £2000
Nickname – Sam
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Alan Shearer
Interesting fact – He’s a plumber (not
Daryl though) presumably because he loves being around leaky defences.
Least likely to say – Jimmy Quinn is one
of the nicest blokes I’ve ever worked with. But the thing
was the training – we hardly did any running.
His song – “Nice one Sammy, Nice on
son, Nice on Sammy. Let’s have another one” (Nice
One Cyrille)
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Position (s) – Centre Forward
Signed from – Margate
Nickname – Daz
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Robbie Savage
Interesting fact – Scored the first English
Football League goal of the current millennium. Signed for WFC back
in the early 90’s by Gerry Armstrong but then what does Gerry
know about football – he’s only played and scored in
the World Cup finals!
Least likely to say – Sorry old chap, totally
unintentional. Referee can I buy you a drink, my behaviour today
was less than impeccable and I would like to apologise.
His song – He hasn’t got one yet
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Position (s) – Centre Forward, Right Wing,
Left Wing
Signed from – Horse Ham
Nickname – Gav
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Nicolas Anelka
Interesting fact – Played for the Albion
under Barry Lloyd, didn’t like him them, doesn’t like
him now. He’s our mate he is (but not just for that)
Least likely to say – I’d love to play
for Withdean this Saturday boss.
His song – “In the town, where I was
born, called Worthing by the sea, there’s a man wears number
ten, he’s the Worthing goal machine, Gavin Geddes the Worthing
goal machine, the Worthing goal machine, the Worthing goal machine.
Gavin Geddes the Worthing goal machine, the Worthing goal machine,
the Worthing goal machine” (Yellow Submarine)
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Position (s) – Central Midfield
Signed from – Withdean £2000
Nickname – Gricey
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Patrick Viera
Interesting fact – Gricey has a bizarre superstition
involving the posts and crossbar at the east end of the ground.
He aims to hit them at least twice every game with progressively
harder shots or headers.
Least likely to say – NO, stay away, don’t
get involved in a physical battle with him
His song – “A-way-oh-way a way-oh-way,
A-way-oh-way a way-oh-way, Shauny Grice Grice Grice, Shauny Grice
Grice Grice” (Hot Hot Hot) OR “Gricey’s
gonna get you, Gricey’s gonna get you….”
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Position (s) – Central Midfield, Right
Back, Right Midfield
Signed from – Withdean £2000
Nickname – Owen
If he were a Bundesliga player he’d be –
Owen Hargreaves
Interesting fact – Owen is a keen snowboarder.
Least likely to say – I really enjoyed the
game up at AFC Wimbledon last year, splendid chaps and so sporting
in defeat.
His song – Not yet
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Position (s) – Central Defence, Right Back,
Central Midfield
Signed from – Jeff King’s Novelty Island
Nickname – Rosco
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
John Terry
Interesting fact – Can throw the ball further
than anyone else in the world. Probably.
Least likely to say – I really enjoy taking
the throw-ins from both sides – there’s nothing like
some extra running to keep me fit
His song – The humming of the theme to The
Dambusters prior to yet another aerial bombardment.
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Position (s) – Central Midfield
Signed from – Whitehawk, so no messing…
Nickname – ?
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
?
Interesting fact – Has a brother and a father
called Kevin, who are only one letter away from being manager of
Man City. Still, could have been worse - Gary Neville’s dad
is called Neville.
Least likely to say – Sorry but I just don’t
fancy sitting on the bench for another week.
His song – He’s only played for ten
minutes – give us a chance!
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Position (s) – Goalkeeper
Signed from – Brighton & Hove Albion
Nickname – Keelo
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
David Seaman
Interesting fact – Is the current Brighton
goalkeeping coach where the players take the p!ss out of the highlights
in his hair by calling him “Limahl”
Least likely to say – Football careers end
at 35
His song – “We’ve got Johnny,
Johnny Keeley in our goal, in our goal, we’ve got Johnny,
Johnny Keeley in our goal”
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Position (s) – Centre Forward, Left Back,
Left Wing, Right Wing, Centre Midfield
Signed from – Lose
Nickname – Marky Knee
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Damian Duff
Interesting fact – Currently Worthing’s
longest serving player. Had his leg broken by ex-Ipswich failed
midfielder Simon Milton. When Milton heard that Gareth “Crash”
Donnelly would be playing in the return fixture, he didn’t
play. Funny that.
Least likely to say – I’m not prepared
to play in that position boss
His song – “Hey hey for the Mark Knee,
Everybody Mark Knee around, He’s too busy scoring to bring
anybody down” (Hey, hey for the Monkees)
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Position (s) – Central Defence
Signed from – The Worthing FC Working Museum
Nickname – It should be Cassius
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Sol Campbell
Interesting fact – Possibly the only player
in WFC history to be awarded two 2-year contracts in one season
– signed one in July then disappeared into cold storage at
the WFC Working Museum in Three Bridges only to re-appear against
Hednesford, play well and get given another! Does this mean it’s
a four-year deal?
Least likely to say – I reckon the reserve
side I played in here could give the current team a run for their
money
His song – Not yet
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Position (s) – Left Midfield, Left Back
Signed from – Our flourishing youth system
of 2002/03
Nickname – Junior Lewis. OK, we just made
that up.
If he were a premiership player he’d be – Ashley Cole
Interesting fact – Made his Worthing debut
against Chertsey when Wes Lopez’s train was delayed.
Least likely to say – I’m disappointed
not to still be at Littlehampton. Those walks back to the station
on a Saturday night were always so enjoyable.
His song – Hasn’t got one. Gentle encouragement
at this stage.
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Position (s) – Left Wing, Central Midfield
Signed from – Ringmer (Lewes are their feeder
club)
Nickname – Wes
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Jay Jay Okocha
Interesting fact – His dad is called Manuel.
And he does come from Barcelona.
Least likely to say – Ben, you’re wrong.
12 across is “octogenarian”
His song – “When we find ourselves
in times of trouble, Worthing fans will say to me, Give the ball
to Lopez, Wes-er-ley. And when he’s taking corners, he’ll
be standing there in front of me, genius of the left wing, Wes-er-ley.
Wes-er-ley, Wes-er-ley, Wes-er-ley, Wes-er-ley, Genius of the left
wing, Wes-er-ley” (Let it be)
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Position (s) – Central Defence, Right Back
Signed from – The Village People (Horsham
Branch)
Nickname – Luts
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Gareth Southgate
Interesting fact – Appeared on Channel Four’s
“The Salon” for a makeover. Amazingly they turned the
Worthing Cricket Club captain into a Worthing Football Club defender.
Least likely to say – Actually, I always
thought Tim Dunn was the better footballer out of the pair of us.
His song – Hasn’t got one. You try
finding a word that rhymes with “Lutwyche”
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Position (s) – Centre Forward
Signed from – Racing Club Bescanson
Nickname – Flo
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Denis Bergkamp
Interesting fact – Flo is a language student
in Worthing and just turned up one day having looked us up on the
interweb. So much for our elaborate European scouting network.
Least likely to say – I only play for the
money.
His song – “Flo-rian Mateos la-la-la-la-la,
Flo-rian Mateos la-la-la-la-la, la, Flo-rian Mateos la-la-la-la-la,
He’s French and he scores a lot of goals” (Brown
girl in the ring) OR “Allez-allez-allez, Flo Flo Flo
Flo, Allez-allez-allez, Flo Flo Flo Flo, Allez, Flo, Allez, Flo,
Allez-allez-allez, Flo Flo Flo Flo”
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Position (s) – Goalkeeper
Signed from – Farnborough Town
Nickname – Will
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Tim Howard (just without the swearing)
Interesting fact – According to the Sports
Argus spent a large sum of money on dental surgery when turning
pro at the Albion earning him the nickname “Gnashers”
Least likely to say – I really enjoyed my
time at Farnborough – Tommy Taylor was very fair to me. I’m
disappointed he got the sack.
His song – “PACK HA-AM, he’s
saved every one of us” (Flash Gordon)
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Position (s) – Right Wing, Left Wing, Centre
Forward
Signed from – Withdean £2000
Nickname – “The White Lionel Richie”
according to the Albion players
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Freddie Ljungberg
Interesting fact – Has most of this season
rehabilitating a knee injury with the likes of Dean Blackwell and
Simon Rodger.
Least likely to say – I didn’t actually
miss playing at all.
His song – “Long live Pooky’s
feet, viva Pooky’s feet, long live Pooky’s feet, C’est
magnifique, Pooky’s feet” (Only Fools and Horses
Theme)
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Position (s) – Central Midfield, Right
Midfield
Signed from – Withdean £2000
Nickname – Pullers
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Ray Parlour
Interesting fact – Short of midfielders,
Mark (with a broken arm) instructed bemused hospital staff to cut
off his hard cast just for the evening so he could play. One tough
man. And he’s not thick, he’s a teacher. An all round
good egg who even talks to Nick occasionally if only to steal/confiscate
his sweets.
Least likely to say – I’m only 99%
fit, I just don’t think I should risk playing
His song – “He plays on the left, he
plays on the right, Marky Pulling, he’s keeping it tight”
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Position (s) – Central Midfield
Signed from – Brighton & Hove Albion
Nickname – Dodge
When he WAS a premiership player he was –
Paul Rogers (obviously)
Interesting fact – Albion wanted to borrow
him earlier in the season when they were a bit short. He said no.
Good!
Least likely to say – I really need a rest
and don’t particularly want to play this afternoon. If I have
to, I won’t put myself about.
His song – “Paul Rogers m’lord,
Paul Rogers, Paul Rogers m’lord, Paul Rogers, Paul Rogrers
m’lord, Paul Rogers, oh Lord, Paul Rogers” (Kum-By-Yah)
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Position (s) – Left Back, Centre Midfield
Signed from – The Burgess Hillbillies
Nickname – Virgs
If he were a premiership player he’d be –
Andy Hinchcliffe
Interesting fact – His brother Adam is the
current Albion right back.
Least likely to say – I always look back
fondly upon my time playing for Burgess Hill. It was a very enjoyable
period of my career.
His song – “Jamie Virgo, scores for
the very first time, Jamie Vir-r-r-r-go, like Paul Kennett, from
the half-way line” (Like a Virgin)
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