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(This article was first published in the Worthing FC Programme in the 2002-2003 season)

As long as I know how to love I’ll know I’m still alive

Butlins

Yet again I find myself having to write a preview to the battle of the piers, and yet again I am stumped with something original to say other than to casually tease them over the length of theirs. So, to take the heat off me for a change, here’s a quote from the “Homes of Non-League Football” (page 42, Tempus, 2002): “A fine ground in a harshly maligned seaside town”.

So that confirms it then, in print: WE’RE a “Seaside Resort” (it’s a sign), and they’re harshly maligned. It’s a hard life when you’re just a suburb of Felpham!

(Incidentally, and I know you all want to know, the same book says Woodside is “a blueprint for potential Ryman clubs” p283).

Pier pressure: Can the Rebels on the road take the wheels off Bognor’s promotion bandwagon? Will the game finish with 11 men on each team?

Molesey

Now a suburb of Manchester home to Ocean Colour Scene, but a Surrey superb straight out of Carry On Mapmaking. You can’t miss it – look on a map for Hampton Wick, follow across to Bushy Park and you’re getting near the promised land. Molesey is host to not one but two clubs in our division – you want the West variety for this lot (the Met’s Imber Court is in East Molesey).

We won the first game 3-1 at Woodside, when Molesey had the distinct look of a pub team about them. They are now ensconced in the relegation dogfight, so may be more of a match this time. The possibility of a train trip also looms large over this particular little fixture.

I’m not a bat: Or a rat or a cat, I'm not a gnu or a kangaroo, I'm not a goose or a moose on the loose…
Neither am I a cow or a chow or a sow, I'm not a snake or a hake or a drake, I'm not a flea or a wee chimpanzee. Hope that’s cleared up any confusion.

Chertsey Town

More of a motorway junction than a town. Perennial strugglers Chertsey are rooted to the foot of the table and are certainties for relegation at time of writing. Of course, this makes them odds-on favourites to hammer the Rebels.

Why not join the Rebels roadshow to see this wonder in action? Just don’t get involved in the car park afterwards – “Leave it, he’s not worf it”

Travel News: The biggest dodgem track (or car park, depending on your timing) in the world, the M25, has given Chertsey more publicity than it deserves. Next time, don’t encourage them – just drive past Junction 11 with eyes shut.

They paint the donkey blue if you pay
The Flying Horseman

 
 
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