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Meet NATA, one-by-one:
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This is where to find out exactly who the characters who make up the Netley Abbey Tartan Army are, and to get a picture of who you'll be reading about and seeing on the Diary and Gallery pages. There's also the chance to read more about some members' likes and dislikes on the old Meet NATA Questionnaires (compiled in late 2001 and early 2002).
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Paul (The Fat Man / The Web Daddy) Looks: Think Jeremy Spake in a kilt Most likely to say: "Have you got one that tastes of frazzles?" or "It’s like a triangle" NATA Alter-Ego: The Fat Man. Not fat, just cuddly! Perhaps a little more "cuddly" than most, admittedly... Personal: One of the founder members of NATA (see About NATA), Paul moved from Glasgow to Netley Abbey at the tender age of 11. One of the first people he spoke to at Netley Juniors was Rich, and he’s been trying to get shot of him ever since! Paul grew up watching Southampton FC with Rich and the Wee Man (and a cast of thousands), and it was at a Saints game that Rich and Paul resolved to join the Scotland Travel Club and start making the effort to go to games. Paul now lives in Worthing, having moved to Sussex to go to Uni, where he met Helen. Paul enjoys worrying about travel arrangements, and can instill fear in even the hardiest NATA member by dreaming ever more “worse case scenarios”. In addition to running the NATA multi-media empire, Paul has his own (empty) website here, and you can read more about his likes here. |
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Richard Donald Ross (The Ladies’ Man) Looks: John Collins meets Hugh Grant (one individual even said David Duchovny!?!?!) Most likely to say: “Oh, just the milk then” NATA Alter-Ego: Ladies’ man? Aye that’ll be right! Rich wears this title not so much with pride but more so with irony bordering slight embarrassment; so how did he come by this name? Rich has a passion for travel; is always keen on meeting and mixing with the locals and always makes an effort with the local tongue. It was once said “What he lacks at home he has gone a little way to making up for with his away form” (referring to a handful of foreign admirers) although Rich, either by way of naivety or plain lack of interest, has on occasion missed his chances when “Clean through on goal with only the keeper to beat” (As the Fat Man would say.) One story being that of a busty Bremen barmaid who squeezed up against him and whispered “You smell nice tonight” with Rich bluntly replying “Yeah, it’s Armani” before turning away and carrying on with his pint! Still, occurrences such as this have landed him with the tag, whilst also providing much ammunition for the NATA. boys. One example being when we ‘gaffer-taped’ part of the back print on his t-shirt in order for it to read ‘Netley Abbey Tart.’ This is something he strenuously denies and he would openly admit to seeking the ‘perfect’ girl from any city or nation… or even from the final year of a comprehensive school! So does he live up to this reputation? Not really (if you can look beyond the fitted shirts, arse-hugging-high-waisted trousers and his liking for pretentious bars!) - if the truth be known, we were stuck for a name for his t-shirt. Personal: Rich first moved to Netley Abbey at the age of nine and attended the village junior school before moving up to secondary school in the neighboring village of Hamble. Since then, Rich has had a career in ‘imports and exports’ (very James Bond!) As a ‘Scottish-Sotonian’ he is a partisan Southampton fan and has held a season ticket next to the Wee Man (and in the past, the Fat Man) for many years; even planning his Scotland away trips in such a way, so as to avoid missing any of the Saints’ home fixtures. Likes cats and Hula-hoops (but not on the same plate); dislikes ‘Auld’ man’s pubs. Read more about Rich's idiosyncrasies here |
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The Wee Man (Darryl to his Mum!) Looks: A slightly less hammered Shane MacGowan Most likely to say: "You can tell they didn’t just knock it up on the cheap", or "Leave it out Rich" NATA Alter-Ego: No alter-ego needed, the Wee Man has been the Wee Man for many years before the dawn of NATA. Personal: Despite being English, the Wee Man had heard enough of Paul and Rich’s tales from active service that he decided to sample it for himself in 2000, coming to both the Netherlands and San Marino trips. Darryl met Paul and Rich at Hamble School, but it was through the Saints that they stayed in touch: when The Dell went all seater, our crowd of 30-odd became four (Dean, the Wee Man’s wee brother, was the fourth). He recently re-joined NATA on the road for the Steaua Bucharest trip, having got engaged to fiancee Lizzie that very morning (Wee Man, when we say “that’s me away - I’ll give you a ring”, that’s not quite what we mean!). Liz has been a stabilising influence on Darryl, and he has embraced domestic life with a flourish for lilac paint and cream leather sofas. NATA still harbour distant hopes that he can be persuaded to hit the road again. |
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Looks: A Cute, English rose with chubby cheeks Most likely to say: "I still haven’t remembered what it is I forgot" NATA Alter-Ego: More of an observational statement than a nickname Personal: Paul’s slightly more sensible half is an accomplished expert at impersonating Baltic prostitutes. After meeting Paul at University over a game of pool and a bet on a football match, Helen’s interest in football meant that her fate was sealed. She has even won more medals than Paul (who retired at the top of his game, aged 16) with Lancing Rangers and Upper Beeding Ladies, and was also the inaugural ATAC Ladies Penalty Shoot Out champion. Despite being born in Middlesbrough, Helen avoided unemployment and does “something to do with pensions and assurances and that”. She loves to travel and to watch football, and has even dragged Paul along unwillingly on occasion, when all he wanted to do was sit in the pub.An adaptable girl, she is equally as comfortable with wine or lager, but turns her nose up at shots, unless it’s German schnapps. See Helen’s questionnaire here |
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Ally Maciver/Macabre (The Grey Man) Looks: Tall, distinguished (i.e. grey) looks, daft grin Most likely to say: "Just leave it behind reception" NATA Alter-Ego: The Grey Man is a reference to his silver locks and position as NATA's elder statesman, rather than a dull sense of clothing (anything but!) and ability to blend in. Personal: Ally is well known to the Tartan Army at large due to his warm, friendly personality, his organisational flair (the man with the plan behind the original TAMB t-shirts) and his daft grin. Always laid back and thoughtful, Ally is often a calming influence on the rest of NATA, and a handy antidote to Paul’s and Susan’s neuroses. He’s also usually the sensible one, often eschewing wanton alcohol abuse in favour of a more considered approach, and lots of orange and lemonade. Although Ally has been known to cut a dash in his shocking tartan breeks, he is best know for his “home” and “away” kilts and his complimentary accessories – definitely the most likely member of NATA to be taken seriously for having his socks pulled up. As well as NATA, Ally is a Committee Member for a “real” Tartan Army Club – NOSTA. Ally reveals more here. |
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Susan / Sooz / Lamia (The Sick Chick) Looks: Slim and waifish, often sporting a ridiculously short kilt with jackboots Most likely to say: "I don’t like the long thin ones, I can’t swallow them" NATA Alter-Ego: Susan’s nick name – the Sick Chick – is from offering suffering from poor health whilst on tour; not, as some may like to claim, down to any distasteful predilections! Her other “nom de plume”, Lamia, is a wee bit more perplexing… Personal: Together with husband Ally, Susan is an Aberdeen season ticket holder and occasional visitor to Harlaw Park (Inverurie Loco’s). Susan and Ally met many years ago whilst studying in Paisley (the town, not the clothes), and although Susan is originally from Helensburgh (read: posh Weegie), they were brought together by a shared love of Aberdeen Football Club. Susan shares Paul’s talents for worrying, and between them they can combine to create a force that drags NATA along to airports, train stations and football matches ridiculously early. Sooz goes into more detail in her questionnaire. |
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Chris / Clarkston Chris (The Blonde Man) Looks: Think H from Steps, with less hair Most likely to say: "Where’s the Shareen?", or “Of course I’ll pay for a taxi. What, for your three boyfriends as well?” NATA Alter-Ego: Although dubbed The Blonde Man, Chris has yet to cement this with his own t-shirt. He best hurry up, because if his hair continues thinning at it's current rate... Personal: Chris hails from Clarkston, on Glasgow’s south side, but is now seeking his fortune in futures in funds in London, where the streets are paved with gold and that. Forever moaning at the price of beer, yet never seems to actually get his round in. Always drinks less than everyone else (even Susan!). Chris met Paul and Rich in a Czech bar in 1999, when we helped his travelling companion at the time (Derek) to get a ticket, however it was Dublin where he came into his own. Flaunting a “Shaun the sheep” novelty posing pouch under his kilt, Chris was set upon by a band of rampant, middle-aged women, and returned shaking, with tales of how one was now wearing the sheep around her neck “like a medal”. Chris is also very familiar with the Kaunas – Vilnius highway. Chris waxes lyrical here. |
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David Duncan / Inverness David (The Lost Man) Looks: Permanently deep in thought (or is that just concentrating on holding it all in?) Most likely to say: "I took one for the team" NATA Alter-Ego: Renowned for losing passports and tickets, and missing boats and planes, David is one person you do not want to leave in charge of your travel arrangements! Personal: David is part of the trio of Schneckie boys that make up the NATA Inverness Branch, although it has been a wee bit dormant of late. David enjoys travelling so much he even works as a travel agent, and will often plot the most circuitous route to a destination (for example, going to Poland from Inverness solely by boat and train), probably because the many changes give him maximum opportunity to lose at least a couple of key travel documents. David’s most notorious moments on tour are usually related to losing control of his basic functions (or his passport/tickets). Having travelled all the way to Croatia in 2000, David sat down in the first minute of the game “to catch his breath”, and the next thing he knew, he was being shaken awake in the 90th minute. Far worse than simply missing a game due to sleeping, in Iceland David became known as “Nature Boy”, having to show the ultimate resourcefulness in the Thingvellur National Park whilst on the Golden Circle tour. “Inverness David” disappeared into the ether a wee bit recently, when he professed his disillusionment with following Scotland, however he was spotted in passing in the Amsterdam Arena. David goes into detail here. |
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Looks: Small and chirpy, like a short Joe Calzahge Most likely to say: I think you might be severing my finger NATA Alter-Ego: Not a professional assassin, Brian's nickname is more to do with his uncanny ability to attract physical disaster - none more so than the night of the Under-21 game in Tallinn in 1999, when within the space of an hour he almost lost his finger in a taxi door (courtesy of Paul) and was brained by a flying alcopop (thrown out of Molly Malones’ window). Personal: Brian’s Tartan Army opportunities have been restricted since he signed up for the Navy, however he was one of the original four Inverness Boys, as met in Lyon in the summer of 1998. Barely 17, the four of them (David, Alan, Brian and one other who’s not been since, who believe or not, was the chattiest). Brian and David went to Bremen, we met them again, and that was that. |
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Looks: A Moomin Troll Most likely to say: Not much at all – Alan is more of a thinker and a drinker, not a talker NATA Alter-Ego: A schoolboy nickname that remains true Personal: Alan was also in Lyon with the rest of the Inverness Boys, but did make an early break for home. A few years later, and Alan was back on the road (for the Arnhem game). Alan is a quiet, contemplative figure, who also looks amazingly like a Moomin troll. When he does share his thoughts, he is prone to coming out with a real pearl of wisdom that perfectly sums up the situation. |
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Also often spotted at, or around, Scotland games:
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American Dave “Why’s he called ‘American Dave’?” went the age old question… “Because his name’s Dave, and he’s from America. Good, now that’s cleared up. Paul and Dave met at University, at a time when there was a bit of a Dave surplus in Sussex (Australian Dave, Brentford Dave and Fulham Dave, to name but a few), and before long, he was making regular trips along the coast to join in the fun at The Dell. Dave is the sole reason Paul and Rich saw USA’s horror showing in all three games at France ’98, but revenge was obtained as Dave sat through the 3-0 Morocco debacle. Dave’s status as “official NATA jinx” was confirmed one year later, as he witnessed the 2-0 home defeat to England, but was suspiciously absent (well, he didn’t have a ticket) for the victorious second leg. Now doing shadowy work in Washington DC, recently married to Ellen, there are encouraging signs that Dave is putting his jinxed Scotland past behind him. |
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| Mirza
Mirza ia an honorary member of NATA, and the founder (and sole member) of the Sarajevo Tartan Army. He had a key role in establishing the Tartan Army Message Board, in it’s previous incarnation, as a major tool of communication amongst the online Tartan Army, however he has now taken more of a background role. Mirza has two sites of his own – his original Alba Gu Brath site, and his newer Scotlandia.com |
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Wee Fern Fern makes the list courtesy of a single Scotland game in 2001, although she was on active duty overseas with NATA on the October 2003 trip to see Southampton in Bucharest. Despite being named after a bush, Fern has readily adapted to student life in her adopted hometown of Southampton, where she enthusiastically follows the Saints. She met the original NATA members at The Dell, where her family had the misfortune of having season tickets directly in front of us (in our more “excitable” days). |
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| Julie
Paul’s younger sister now lives in Dalmuir, and makes it along to occasional home matches – like most of Paul’s family, she still doesn’t have a passport of her own, so away games are out of the question. She recently graduated from Glasgow University, and now works for a shipping resource company in Clydebank. |
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Welsh Steve Although Welsh Steve (see American Dave above for an indication of where the name comes from) first savoured international football in the Czech Republic in 1999 with Scotland, he has since become a regular travelling Welsh fan, including trips to Russia, Finland and “the most expensive day trip” of his life, to Azerbaijan. Steve has fashioned a career in the Alan Partridge-esque cut throat world of local radio, and now moves in trendy media circles, dahling (calm down – this is only Cardiff, remember!). Steve met Paul in the queue to register at University, and the two have remained friends since. His inaugural Scotland trip saw him kipping on a sofa in Prague for a week (it could have been worse – Rich slept on a plank above a washing machine alcove), but it wasn’t enough to put him off a weekend in Dublin before the friendly in 2000. |
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Milngavie Tartan Army Although Milngavie (that’s “Mill-guy” to the likes of you!) is where Paul’s family hail from, he doesn’t actually know that many people there (apart from his family, that is). Paul’s mum, as Branch Manager of a well known convenience store chain, is the chief supplier of Mad Dog 20/20 to the Milngavie and Bearsden region, and also employed two of the Milngavie Boys – Ally Reid and Peter Risk. NATA made the Milngavie Tartan Army’s acquaintance in Prague, and our paths have crossed on many occasions, although home games are usually out of the question, due to the Mad Dog rituals taking place amongst the members. It’s difficult to name and shame all the Milngavie Boys, but here goes: Ally Reid, Davie Carruth (now in Australia), Pete, Sumo, Gary Young, Colin, Ally Jones, Russell, Martin, Fraser and Stephen, as well as Irene and Katy (apologies to anyone I’ve missed!). |
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Nottingham Tartan Amy The paths of NATA and the Notts Scots has long been intertwined – Campbell Burton was the first ever person to ask the immortal question: “Where the f*ck’s Netley Abbey?”. After an initial meeting on the boat to Arnhem, rarely a trip goes by without sharing a drinking session in some dodgy, backstreet boozer with the likes of Campbell, Jim Carver, Dougie (Campbell’s older, yet wiser, clone), Adam or the Numpty Brothers. Sadly, Scott and Josie Forman can no longer travel as much, now they have a baby Forman to look after. |
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Wee Midges Tartan Army Taking it’s name from it’s members’ initials, the Wee Midges Tartan Army is based in Bournemouth, Bicester and Scotland, and the too members NATA have most contact with are Wrighty (professional Gary McAllister stunt double) and Big Mick, a committed Everton fan. |
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Worthing Tartan Army An up-and-coming Tartan Army presence on the Sussex Riveria, consisting mostly of Raz Petrie and Brian Chambers. Paul originally met both at Woodside Road (home of the mighty Worthing FC), but for a long time had actually seen them more times abroad than at home. Brian often works in Germany (hence the name “Munich Brian), and has even co-opted Helmut from Hannover into the TA. Aside from Woodside Road, Brian and Raz both frequent the excellent Selden Arms pub (complete with Belgian Kriek – cherry beer – on tap!). |
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| And the dozens of denizens too numerous to list here, including members of Loony Alba, WESTA, NOSTA, EASTA, ETA and the Prestwick Tartan Army (right), and various people who lurk around the TAMB, and those who don’t. |  |
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Copyright notice:
All photographs on this site are the property of individual members of
the Netley Abbey Tartan Army unless otherwise stated. The copyright of
these images remains with the individual possessing the photographic negatives,
and permission should ideally be sought before copying them. We are keen
to prevent anyone from making financial gain from our copyrighted images,
or bringing the reputation of the Netley Abbey Tartan Army into disrepute
(as we are more than capable of doing this ourselves).
If anyone does wish to use these images and
would like express written consent to do so, please e-mail Paul Allison
using via the contact page.
© Netley Abbey Tartan Army, 2001-2008
(and beyond...)